


Growing Up Isles

by teenrizzles



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenrizzles/pseuds/teenrizzles
Summary: What starts as a typical family trip to London turns out to be a romantic, trip of a lifetime for Jane and Maura and the start of a new beginning for Hope and Constance. College Rizzles.
Relationships: Hope Martin/Constance Isles, Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. 90s Nostalgia and the Talk

Autumn had always been Maura’s favorite time of the year. When she was a child, she and her mom would have apple cider in the park and－instead of jumping in piles of leaves like the other children－Maura would collect every color of leaf that she could find and press them into her scrapbook. That’s when her mom taught her about the different seasons and why the leaves changed colors in the fall. Her mom had been the “science geek” while she was a kid and that same interest in science had been instilled in Maura. There was once a time when she had followed her mom everywhere, but everything in Maura’s life had changed like the seasons and she was no longer a child and her mom was no longer a med student in her twenties. Her mom was now an accomplished OB/GYN and six weeks pregnant with her third child and Maura was a college freshman trying to balance her new relationship and pledging her mother’s sorority. 

...but after all the years that had passed, autumn was still Maura’s favorite time of the year, albeit for a different reason now.

Maura was always close to her family, but this autumn was the first time she felt as if she had fit in with her peers. The girls in her pledge class were a tight-knit group and－from the start－they followed each other on social media and had dinner together at least a couple of nights a week to encourage each other throughout the pledge process. It was a far cry from what her mother Constance had told her about her own pledge class eighteen years ago in which almost half of the girls were catty and judged others based on how they looked and what they wore. Her pledge mom was kind and considerate of all the girls and checked in with them weekly to make sure the process wasn’t overwhelming and Maura’s Big Sis, a sophomore named Lauren, was just as interested in science as she was and gave her advice on what classes to take. Her time as a Kappa Gamma Phi pledge had been an enjoyable experience and with only three weeks left until Initiation, Maura was especially excited for the remainder of her pledge tasks－the next of which was the reason why she was at her house in Beacon Hill instead of at her BCU dorm room. 

Her task was to learn about the history of Kappa Gamma Phi by interviewing a member of the sorority’s executive board who had graduated more than ten years ago. Luckily for Maura, the person she was going to interview was at the same address as her. 

There was a list of questions for Maura to choose from and, although she was expected to pick ten questions from the list and obtain photos of her mother from her sorority days, there were questions more important than ‘What’s your favorite Kappa Gamma Phi tradition’ and ‘What was the most romantic thing a fraternity guy ever did for you?’ that Maura wanted to ask because, like Maura, Constance didn’t have a boyfriend in college. Her mother, more than anyone, knew what it was like to hide one of the most important parts of herself from her sorority sisters. Homophobia was rampant in Greek-life organizations in the ‘90s and, although Maura knew the girls in her pledge class were different from her mother’s, a part of her still feared that she would have to spend the next four years hiding who she was, which was why Maura sat nervous at the kitchen table during an interview that was supposed to be an enjoyable experience and help her learn about the history of the organization she was pledging.

“Do you have pictures of yourself as a pledge and as a senior?” Maura asked in hopes that seeing the incredibly ‘90s pictures of her mother would ease her mind.

“I was a freshman here. Gamma Epsilon class initiation night,” Constance said as she handed a 4’” x 6” photo to Maura. In the photo was her mother at age eighteen in a short, white thin-strapped dress and white heels. There were pink balloons and streamers along the bannister of the staircase and she was holding a gift basket and a sign that said ‘ _ Welcome home, Connie.’  _ The sorority house still looked the same and it warmed Maura’s heart to know that she would someday be living in that very house.

“I remember this sweet, beautiful girl,” Maura’s mom Hope said fondly as she looked at the picture along with Maura. “She tried on thirty dresses before choosing that one. Your mother was so nervous that night when she was getting ready.”

“I wasn’t nervous about being initiated,” Constance pointed out. “I was ecstatic about Initiation. It meant the end of doing everything the older girls told me to do. If it was the middle of the night and one of the seniors called you and told you to buy her something at the 24-hour store, you absolutely had to do it and deliver it to her within a one-hour timeframe. The seniors had copies of our class schedule so they knew where we were at all times and they would show up outside the door of our classes to make sure we were wearing our pledge pins. There were dire consequences if we weren’t. Plus, there was the night when they came into our dorm rooms, kidnapped us, and left us miles from campus and we’d have to find our way home in our pajamas and no money for a cab and not the slightest idea where we were. I’ll reiterate I was absolutely  _ ecstatic  _ about that being over. What I was nervous about, Maura, was the gorgeous woman sitting next to me right now. She was completely oblivious to how I felt about her.”

“You could have told me,” Hope smiled, which made Constance laugh.

“Hope, I did everything short of spelling it out in the sky for you.”

“No,” Hope argued. “You did everything short of saying ‘Hope, I’m in love with you,’ which would have saved both of us a lot of heartache.”

Constance grasped her wife’s hand. “I didn’t think I’d have to be so direct with you. I assumed making you a mixed tape of love songs like ‘Waiting For A Girl Like You’ and ‘The Most Beautiful Girl in the World’ with hearts and our initials on the cover would suffice. How silly of me.”

“You artists think everything requires a grand gesture. Sometimes you can just use your words,” Hope said as she leaned in and kissed her wife.

“Yuck,” Maura heard her four-year-old sister, Cailin, say as she looked over from her spot in front of the child-sized easel that Maura had set up for her earlier that day. “Kissing is yucky.”

“Good,” Constance turned around and faced her youngest daughter. “I want you to keep thinking that way.”

Cailin picked up her paintbrush again and went back to painting a picture of a puppy, but not without continuing to voice her opinion on the topic. “My boyfriend, Brayden, tried to kiss me, so I pushed him and now he won’t even share his Legos during free play. I don’t understand men. I think I’m going to dump him and date Hunter instead. He has his own tree house and I hear he’s getting a Mercedes power wheels for his birthday. He’ll have his own house  _ and  _ a car.”

“Cailin Isles!” Hope said in disbelief.

“Young lady, tonight we’re going to have a talk about you having a boyfriend,” Constance added.

“I’ll give up having a boyfriend if you get me a kitten,” Cailin smirked.

Constance turned to face her wife. “And now she’s blackmailing us. What’s our third child going to be like?”

“You’re just upset because Cailin is starting to take after you,” Hope pointed out. “Your mother told me about when you were nine and you said you were never speaking again unless they got you tickets to see Debbie Gibson because she was－according to what you told your mother－ ’the love of your life.’ Face it, honey, you noticed girls at a young age just like Cailin is noticing boys at a young age.”

“Yes, but I didn’t do so much as kiss a girl until I was eighteen,” Constance reminded her. “And I ended up marrying that girl.”

“Mom’s the  _ only _ woman you’ve ever kissed?” Maura asked in disbelief.

“I’m the only woman  _ she’s  _ ever kissed, too,” Constance said in her own defense. “She’s just as uncool as I am. And I happen to know of someone else at this table who has only kissed one girl in her entire life.”

“And I think this girl has a girlfriend named Jane,” Hope teased. 

As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Cailin rushed over to see who it was. “Jane’s here!!”

Hope managed to scoop up her little girl. “Not so fast, little one. You know the rule.”

“I know,” Cailin sighed. “No answering the door until I’m tall enough to look out the peep hole.” But Cailin still managed to free herself from her mom’s grasp and run to the door with Hope just a few feet behind.

“Cailin Elizabeth Martin Isles!” Hope said as she reached for the door knob. The app on her phone enabled her to see that it was Jane on the other side of the door, so Hope tried to regain her composure. 

“Mrs. Isles,” Jane smiled. “Congratulations! Maura told me the good news. My mom sends her congratulations, too. When’s Baby Isles gonna be here?”

“Thank you. He’ll be here in July,” Hope said as she motioned for Jane to come in.

“You mean  _ she  _ will be here in July,” Constance said from the kitchen. “I still think we’re having a daughter. Either way, Hope, we’re not having one of those ridiculous gender reveal parties.”

“My wife doesn’t have to know I’ve already started planning the party,” Hope quietly said to Jane. 

“Jane! Jane!” Cailin said excitedly as she tugged on the hem of Jane’s hoodie. “I’m going to start playing T-ball in the spring. Mommy’s signing me up. Can you teach me to throw right now?”

“Yeah,” Jane said and bent down to give Cailin a high-five. “I started playing when I was your age. Do you have a glove and a ball yet?”

“In my room,” Cailin responded. “Come on! I’ll show you.”

Maura knew once Cailin got Jane into her room, it would be an hour before she saw her girlfriend again. Cailin would start by showing Jane her new softball equipment and then move on to her collection of Disney toys and Barbies, so she excused herself from the kitchen table and made her way over to the living room.

“I get Jane first,” Maura insisted. When she hugged her girlfriend, Maura smelled the familiar scent of Jane’s body spray and the fabric softener used on her Patriots hoodie. For Maura, it was the most inviting and comforting scent and she couldn’t bring herself to let go. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jane said as she playfully lifted her up.

“I can’t wait to fall in love,” Maura heard her little sister say.

“Yes, you can,” Hope responded. “Maura? Maura, can I see you in the kitchen?”

“I’ll go hang out with Cailin,” Jane said before giving Maura a chaste kiss.

Maura reluctantly let go of her girlfriend and watched as her little sister excitedly walked with Jane upstairs to her room.

Just as they had been during the interview, Maura and her parents were seated at the kitchen table－except, this time, Maura sensed the vibe had changed. 

“I think it’s time we had the talk,” Constance began. Maura noticed that she was nervously playing with a clasp on her bracelet and she wondered what kind of talk would make her typically composed mother feel uneasy. 

_ Oh, no! Not that talk.  _ “Mother, I’ve already had sex,” Maura reminded her. “I don’t need ‘the talk.’ Besides, you’ve told me anything related to sex is something I should discuss with my mom because you never want to hear the word ‘vagina’ come from my mouth again.”

“She’s right, sweetie,” Hope said as she placed her hand on top of her wife’s. “When we gave Maura that talk when she was fourteen, you referred to it as ‘down there’ and you actually spelled out ‘T-H-E-R-E.’ I believe you also told our daughter that ‘S-E-X’ before marriage was illegal in all 50 states and in Europe.”

“And when it came to her ex-boyfriend Garrett, it should have been illegal,” Constance responded. “But unlike doing the unthinkable with men, this talk is going to be something I actually know about. You and Jane have been together for three months now and I know your relationship is getting serious. It’s happening faster than I’d like it to, but just like Hope’s mother and my mother couldn’t stop us from moving too quickly, we know we can’t stop you and Jane.”

“And we don’t want to stop you,” Hope added. “We adore Jane and we think she’s perfect for you, but we also know from personal experience that people outside of this household won’t always be accepting.”

Constance handed Maura the other picture that she had previously asked for. It was a photo of both her mothers in formal dresses and her mom was smiling and proudly showing off her new ring to whoever was behind the camera. “That was my sorority formal during senior year. I had just given your mom a promise ring a few hours prior. I would have proposed to her that night, but marriage wasn’t legal yet, so that ring was my promise that I’d always love her even if we couldn’t get married. Your mom was pregnant with you during her senior year of high school so she missed senior prom. Kappa Gamma Phi has a formal at the end of every school year, which meant for three years I had failed to ask her because I was too afraid to come out to my sorority sisters. I chose living up to their expectations of me over the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

“What made you change your mind about taking her to formal?” Maura asked. 

“I was president and with only two weeks left until graduation, I felt like I had nothing to lose. My successor had already been chosen and my only responsibility left within the sorority was to train her.”

“And when you showed up with Mom as your date and everyone was accepting, you realized you had been worried for nothing?” Maura asked. 

“Quite the contrary,” Constance responded.

“I realized why she had kept our relationship a secret from them for four years,” Hope added. “One of her sorority sisters was sitting on a frat boy’s lap, doing something I’d rather not say, and nobody gave them a second glance. I kissed her once and it was like the end of the world.”

Maura wondered if she would face a similar fate. “Did you leave right after that happened?”

“No,” Constance smiled at her daughter. “Many of the girls wanted me impeached that night, but the entire executive and judicial board were my closest friends, and I was already out to them. A few of the other girls had too many jello shots to know or care what was happening, so it was safe to say I wasn’t getting impeached that night or anytime soon. We left two hours later after the end of the year awards were given out, but we only stayed because I had to preside over the ceremony.”

“She’s neglecting to say that she won Kappa of the Year,” Hope bragged. “The woman I love was voted the sorority’s equivalent of Prom Queen.”

“That’s not exactly the equivalent,” Constace kissed her wife’s hand. “They give the award to the member who has made the biggest impact on the sorority that year. The voting is done two weeks before formal, so they voted for me before any of this happened.”

“Your mother is the one who spoke out against hazing,” Hope told Maura. “The reason you weren’t kidnapped in the middle of the night or forced to be available to the seniors 24/7 is because this perfect woman pushed for a sorority constitutional amendment the moment she took office.”

“The freshmen in particular were so grateful for that amendment,” Constance began. “But the moment they found out I was dating a girl, so many of them turned on me. Some didn’t speak to me for the remaining two weeks of the school year. Others were fine with it, but I could tell they were uncomfortable around me. The executive board and the judicial board members were my closest friends, but most of the other seniors were apprehensive about sharing the same spaces with me like the showers and the dressing room. Hope’s parents－your grandparents－saw me crying when I visited Hope and told me to move in right away.”

“They no longer cared that we’d be sharing a bed,” Hope said to add some levity to the conversation. “And I found some ways to take her mind off of everything.”

“Mom!” Maura said in disbelief.

“Hope!” Constance tried to hide her embarrassment by changing the subject. “Maura, what your mom and I are getting at is the fact that you’re going to be coming out to people for the rest of your life, whether it’s when your doctor asks you about birth control methods or you have to correct your colleagues when they assume you have a husband and not a wife. When your mom was pregnant with Cailin, there were actually people who asked if she had cheated on me with a man because they couldn’t understand how two women could have a baby together without a man involved. We would never ask a heterosexual woman how her baby was conceived yet complete strangers feel they have the right to ask us.” Constance gently placed her hand on her wife’s lower abdomen. “And when Baby Isles starts to grow, we’ll probably get asked the same questions.”

“What we want you to know,” Hope began. “Is that coming out is your own personal decision and only you know when the timing is right and the situation is right. Some people will handle it better than others and the ones who react negatively don’t need to be kept in your life. And, if you ever need any advice, your mother and I are always here for you. Not to mention, my future daughter-in-law is head over heels in love with you.”

“Future daughter-in-law?” Maura asked, her smile beaming. “But Jane and I are only eighteen. We haven’t even thought about marriage.”

“We were eighteen once,” Hope reminded her. “And I see how you two look at each other.”

The idea of spending a lifetime with Jane filled Maura with happiness and comfort. She began to imagine them having a house together and maybe even children. She wondered if she’d have similar conversations with them and she hoped they’d know how much they’re loved and how much their parents love each other, but Maura’s thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of her girlfriend’s voice. 

“The future all-star wants ice cream,” Jane said to them with Cailin following behind. “And I know Maura can’t resist coffee ice cream. Would you two like to join us?”

“Thank you, but I’m going to lie down,” Hope told Jane. “My son is taking a lot out of me.”

“You mean our daughter,” Constance corrected her. “Our Amelia.”

“That’s not our son’s name,” Hope responded. “And, Maura, bring me back a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It’s for Baby Isles, not just me.”


	2. Leggings and Green Eyed Maura

Every year, Maura looked forward to Thanksgiving because it meant Grandma Martin would spend the night at her house. The two of them would spend the day before Thanksgiving shopping for everything they needed to prepare dinner and they’d spend the night before baking pies and cookies until they were certain they’d have enough for the whole family. On Thanksgiving morning, the two of them would wake up early and prepare dinner well into the afternoon while her parents would put the finishing touches on the decorations. 

“You know I love my daughter and my daughter-in law,” Mrs. Martin said while she and Maura prepared to put the turkey in the oven. “They’re two of the most intelligent and accomplished women I’ve ever met, but heaven help you all when I die and they’re the matriarchs of this family.”

“Grandma!” Maura laughed.

“Hope tries and I know her heart is in the right place, but everything she cooks tastes like something is missing and Connie－well, bless her heart but that woman can’t even make toast without burning it. That’s why I gotta teach you everything I know before you develop their habits." Mrs. Martin played with the settings on the oven. "They do have a state of the art kitchen, though. They got that going for them."

"What do we do now that the turkey is in the oven?" Maura asked when she noticed her grandmother take off her apron. 

"We have some of that wine that your mother opened," Mrs. Martin said as she motioned to the bottle of wine on top of the kitchen table.

“We’re not allowed to touch that,” Maura informed her grandmother. “Mother said that bottle is her coping mechanism for having an emotional, pregnant wife.”

Mrs. Martin decided not to heed Maura’s warning and poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle Constance had opened earlier. “Connie!” she called out, hoping her daughter-in-law would hear her from the formal dining room.

The sound of stiletto heels against the hardwood floor let Maura know that her mother was on her way over. “Yes, Judy?” 

“There’s my British rose,” Mrs. Martin said as she tightly held her daughter-in-law in a side embrace. “Look at you. You don’t have to be so perfect all the time. You’re in your own house. Take off those heels, change out of that dress, and put on a t-shirt and jeans.”

Maura saw her mother grimace at the thought of wearing a t-shirt and jeans. “I haven’t worn a t-shirt in years.”

“I suggest you start getting used to it now,” Mrs. Martin told her. “You’re going to have a newborn in a few short months, which means there will be spit-up and drool all over those thousand dollar dresses of yours just like there was the first time Cailin spit-up on you.”

“Connie!” The three of them heard Hope call out from upstairs. “Constance, I need you!”

Constance reached for the glass of wine she had poured earlier, but was stopped by her mother-in-law. “Not so fast, young lady. You’re gonna face her sober. At this point, my daughter would bite your lips off just to taste the Pinot Noir on them.”

Heeding her mother-in-law’s advice, Constance slowly made her way over to the master bedroom until the sound of Hope calling her again made her quicken her pace. Constance had expected her wife to ask her opinion on what shoes to wear, but instead she was greeted by the sight of her half-naked wife sifting through a pile of clothes on their bed. “As much as I love the sight of you topless, what on earth are you doing?”

“Nothing fits me,” Hope said as she frantically tossed another pair of pants aside.

“But you’re only seven weeks,” Constance pointed out. “You’re not even showing. Baby Isles is just the size of a blueberry.”

“My jeans are uncomfortable and my dresses are too binding,” Hope argued.

Sensing that her wife was about to cry, Constance decided to risk one of Hope’s potential mood swings and hold her as closely as she’d let her. “Lie down with me? I know half the bed is covered in your clothes, so you’ll have to be pressed against me.”

Hope smiled for the first time during their conversation. “If you’re suggesting what I think you are, we only have fifteen minutes until the rest of our guests arrive.”

“Fifteen minutes?” Constance asked her. “Hope, I’ve been memorizing every inch of you since we were teenagers. There’s a lot I can accomplish in fifteen minutes.”

“And what if I want to reciprocate?” Hope asked in between kissing her wife. “Can I have an additional fifteen minutes?”

Constance ran her finger tips along Hope’s back. “There will be time for that later tonight. Right now is about you.”

“Hope!” they heard Mrs. Martin say as she knocked on their bedroom door. “Hope, are you okay in there?”

Hope shook her head. “I would have been okay in fifteen minutes, Mom.”

“Well, you kids stop playing around in there and come join us,” Mrs. Martin responded.

When they heard her leave, the two of them started laughing uncontrollably. “Kids?” Constance asked in disbelief.

“Playing around?” Hope added. “She acts like we’re still those two teenage girls watching MTV on the living room sofa like we were in the ‘90s.”

“Those two teenage girls who would practically grope each other on that living room sofa the moment everyone went to bed,” Constance teased.

Hope slowly unzipped the back of her wife’s dress. “And now we don’t have to sneak around. We’re married. We can make love to each other whenever we want and studies show that women have their most satisfying sex at 36. Judging by the intensity of your orgasms lately－”

“Girls!” Mrs. Martin knocked louder than before, interrupting what Hope was about to say.

"We'll be right there!" Hope responded as she reluctantly let go of her wife. 

"It's alright," Constance said as she grabbed her wife's hand. "Dressing you can be just as sexy as undressing you."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Hope smiled at her. "Because I bought something for us to wear as a backup ensemble."

Constance glanced behind her wife at the Lululemon shopping bag on top of Hope’s nightstand. “No,” she said sternly. “Nothing good could come from that bag.”

“I bought us matching leggings,” Hope said excitedly. “They weren’t what I had planned on wearing today, but they’ll be less confining than jeans.”

“Are we doing yoga?”

“No.”

“You know who wears leggings in public while not doing yoga or exercising?” Constance asked as she placed her hands on the sides of her wife’s waist. “My students. Young women who are 18-25, our daughter’s peer group, not women our age.”

Hope narrowed her eyes. “We’re 36, not 60. Or we might as well be 12 with the way my mother is talking to us. Be a good wife and wear the leggings with me in solidarity.”

“I refuse to wear them.”

“Wear them and I’ll give you a good workout tonight,” Hope winked at her.

While imagining the possibilities, Constance changed out of her dress and into the leggings her wife had bought her. Hope mentioned nothing about her wearing the matching zip-up hoodie and putting her hair in a ponytail, but she held onto the possibility that the more she complied, the more enjoyable of a night she’d have with her wife after everyone went to sleep.

“I forgot to tell you we’re going to the mall in Natick tonight,” Hope said, bringing her out of her train of thought. “Jane is working a Black Friday shift and I promised Maura we’d take her so they could at least spend a few minutes together. I could also go shopping for jeans and dresses while we’re there. Cailin will stay here with my dad and my mom will go with us.”

“So this workout you had planned for me tonight is me walking the mall with you, Maura, and your mother on the busiest shopping day of the year?” Constance asked. 

“Yes.”

Just a few short minutes ago, she had walked in on Hope frustrated and about to cry. Constance was well aware that the next seven and a half months were going to take a toll on her wife, so when Hope gave her a pleading look, there was no way she could refuse. “Alright, I’ll go. I’ll even take your bags to the car while you move on to the next store.”

  
  


* * *

Maura knew she had a beautiful girlfriend. Guys looked at her, girls looked at her, even grandmothers would stop and ask if she were a model, but one of the things Maura loved about Jane was the fact that their comments never went to her head. Jane was humble about her appearance because she knew her looks didn’t define her. She’d rather have been known for her abilities on the softball field and her intelligence, so when Jane accepted a modelling job for Black Friday, Maura was completely taken aback. The job was at a clothing store in the mall and Jane wasn’t modelling per se, but she was required to wear a particular outfit and greet customers along with two good-looking, shirtless guys who were about the same age as her. If customers wanted pictures with them, she was required to comply. Most of the store’s clientele were middle school and high school girls, so Maura figured she had absolutely nothing to worry about.

...until she saw what her modest girlfriend was wearing. What was supposed to be some jeans and what Jane called a ‘girly’ sweater had become a black bikini and an unbuttoned, men’s flannel shirt.

Maura had seen Jane wear something similar when it was just the two of them after spending time in the hot tub at her house. She had gotten into her parents’ wine collection and, knowing that they had hours by themselves, it wasn’t long before that bikini was off. Jane had been shy at first, so it surprised Maura to see her so confident with the guys she was working with.

Within minutes of everyone leaving the Martin-Isles house, Maura was on the road to Natick to see Jane. The drive over there and the search for a parking spot took up over an hour of their time, so Jane was three hours into her shift by the time Maura arrived at the mall. She sat down on a bench across from the store and impatiently waited for Jane’s lunch break. Her mother had let her use her credit card to go shopping and her grandmother had offered to keep her company, but Maura wasn’t in the mood to do anything other than sit at that bench and watch Jane interact with people.

There were some middle school and high school girls who wanted pictures with the shirtless guys, so Jane had offered to take the photos for them. She was having fun being their photographer and Maura smiled when she saw the playful interactions her girlfriend was having. Every now and then, middle school boys would ask to take a picture with her, but with their mothers right there keeping a watchful eye, the boys’ interactions with Jane were always respectful and some of them were even shy around her.

After thirty minutes of watching, Maura realized all of Jane’s interactions were harmless, so she grabbed her purse and decided to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy something special to wear for Jane that night. Before entering, she glanced inside and noticed her grandmother was looking at perfumes and hand creams.  _ Lingerie shopping in front of my grandmother? I’ll pass _ .

The mall was becoming more crowded by the minute and Maura noticed that her former waiting spot on the bench was now occupied by two exhausted fortysomething-year-old husbands whose wives had forced them to be there and hold their bags while they shopped. They were surrounded by shopping bags from Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and Bath and Body Works and there was nothing for them to do other than scroll through apps on their phone.  _ They need that spot more than I do.  _

Instead, she opted to do some window shopping until she noticed a pair of attractive girls about her age, one with a backwards snapback and the other with a small rainbow heart on her sweatshirt. The pair had now approached Jane and Maura felt herself fuming when one of them playfully touched Jane’s arm. Maura stared intently at them, hoping they would get a quick photo and then enter the store, but the pair started to engage Jane in conversation, which made Maura move in closer to the store.

_ They’re talking about school and sports. That’s harmless.  _ Maura’s back was now pressed against the wall on the side of the store, just out of Jane’s eyesight, but close enough for her to intently listen to their conversation.  _ One goes to BCU and the other goes to Boston College.  _ When the one from BCU told Jane to call her sometime, Maura couldn’t take it anymore and immediately decided to approach them.

“Jane Rizzoli!” Maura said sternly. She soon realized she sounded more like Angela than she had hoped.

The two other girls looked at each other and started laughing. “Who is this?” The one with the snapback asked Jane.

Maura had expected Jane to proudly introduce her, but instead Jane excused herself and led Maura over to the side. “What are you doing, Maura?”

“What are  _ you  _ doing?” Maura asked defensively. 

“I’m working.”

“In a bikini and an unbuttoned plaid shirt? What happened to your jeans and sweater?”

“They changed it at the last minute,” Jane insisted. “Don’t you think I’d rather be in jeans and even the girliest sweater possible instead of this? But it’s an easy $300 for greeting people and taking some pictures.”

Maura narrowed her eyes. “I don’t want other girls flirting with you and touching you or even looking at your body.”

“Is someone jealous?” Jane asked playfully.

“Who are those girls?” 

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Whose girlfriend am I?”

“Mine.” Maura tried unsuccessfully to break free from Jane’s embrace. “Who are those girls?”

“They’re a couple,” Jane pointed out. “I Instagram spied on the one in the snapback a few days ago. She pitches for Boston College and the only flirtation going on is the two of us saying we’re going to kick the other’s ass come gametime. Besides, I figured I’d get her number so the two of us could have another gay couple to double date with. You’ve been saying we need to make friends with other couples.”

“Oh,” Maura averted her eyes.

“I would have introduced you had you not come in scolding me like my mom,” Jane laughed. “You have to trust me. I’m not Garrett. I’m not going to run around on you. I can barely even handle  _ your  _ libido. How could I handle having another girl on the side?”

“That isn’t funny, Jane.”

“I love you,” Jane reminded her. “But I need you to be confident in us. When softball season starts, I’m going to be travelling all over the country, but no matter where I am or who I’m spending time with, I’m only yours. I promise you.” She gave Maura a quick kiss on the lips. “Besides, you’re going to London this Christmas. How do I know that some beautiful English girl isn’t going to sweep you off your feet?”

“I’ll only be in Greater London for three days,” Maura pointed out. “After that, we’ll spend a week at Isles Manor. It’s in the countryside, far away from London.”

“Isles  _ Manor _ ?” Jane asked in disbelief.

“It’s my grandparents’ vacation home. My mother spent all of her childhood summers there. It’s been in the family for centuries,” Maura said nonchalantly. “I’ll be related to every woman there and those I’m not related to are well into their 70s and friends of my grandparents.”

“Sounds fun,” Jane said sarcastically.

“I’m finally allowed to play the drinking game this year,” Maura smirked. “It’s a game my mother and her sisters made up to pass the time at my grandparents’ annual holiday party. Imagine the BCU drinking game but with £500 bottles of wine instead of Everclear and preppy college students are replaced with the upper echelon of British society.”

“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad I’ll be spending Christmas with my obnoxious cousins instead of your hoity toity society family,” Jane teased.

“Unless I take you to London with me.”

  
  
  



	3. First Kisses and Feminine Charms

December 13, 1996

Maura’s first Christmas was quickly approaching and, although Hope knew her four-month-old daughter hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening around her, she still went out of her way to document everything that was happening so that someday her daughter would be able to look back at the photos and know she was loved. There was her first picture with Santa at the mall while she was wearing her new Christmas dress and hair bow. As a teenage mother and a college freshman, Hope didn’t have that much money, but she spent as much as she could on gifts for her daughter. There were also presents under the tree for Maura from Hope’s parents, her friends, and gifts sent all the way from London from Mr. and Mrs. Isles and Constance’s little sister.

Hope thought about the day she took a home pregnancy test during Christmas break when she was seventeen and how much she cried when she found out the test was positive. A month prior, she had submitted her applications to BCU, Harvard, and Yale and, as valedictorian, her guidance counselors told her there was no doubt she’d get accepted to every school she applied to. She daydreamed about what her dorm would look like, what sorority she’d join, and the classes she’d take. College was going to be the best four years of her life, but that changed the moment she got the results of her pregnancy test. She thought about what had happened the night she finished her BCU application. For weeks she had isolated herself while completing her applications－reading and re-reading her admissions essays and making sure she had everything required for her application. The moment her final application was finished, she called her boyfriend and he insisted they go out to a party at his friend’s house and celebrate. They found a secluded area outside of town after they left the party and it was in the backseat of his car that night that her daughter was conceived. She thought about that night as she stared at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and, as she cried in the bathroom by herself, she hated him for ruining her life. Although he swore they’d raise Maura together, he was the first to leave her, followed by her friends, and then the dreams of the life she was going to have. She lost her place as valedictorian and once she started showing, she had to leave her school and finish her courses from home. Instead of a dorm room, she’d have to live at home and commute to BCU, and there was no way she’d get to join a sorority and go to parties like she had planned. 

Her college experience was nothing like she had planned, but exactly a year after she found out she was pregnant, Hope realized that the college experience she was having was even better and it was all thanks to her daughter and the girl she had met while attending a Rush event even though she knew there was no chance she’d get a Bid. She didn’t know if it was her accent, the fact that she looked as if she was straight out of the fashion pages of a teen magazine, or how she was easily one of the most beautiful girls in school and didn’t even care, but Hope was drawn to Constance in a way she couldn’t comprehend. 

Hope invited her over to her house after the Rush event and they spent the entire night talking and watching cheesy horror movies. They were inseparable after that night and, in four months, they had gone from best friends to girlfriends even if their timing was terrible.

Their feelings for each other were almost instant, yet neither had the nerve to say anything until just thirty minutes ago when Hope decided to kiss Constance under the mistletoe after a Secret Santa gift exchange they had with their friends. Their first kiss was not what movies were made of. As Constance had never kissed anyone before, and Hope was nervous about kissing her best friend, their first kiss was quick and even a bit awkward for the two of them. What made matters worse was that their friends were watching them from inside the house.

“Let’s go to my room,” Hope said as she grabbed Constance’s hand. “I want to be alone with my girlfriend.”

Girlfriend. It was the word she felt like she had waited an eternity to use and now that she was finally able to use it, the girl of her dreams was flying back home to London in just a few short hours.

Hope made sure to lock the door behind them when they got to her room. She had a special going away gift for her girlfriend and it was something she didn’t want their friends to walk in on.

The designer clothes and trendy boutique pieces Constance usually wore were replaced with a light pink fleece pullover with her sorority letters on the front and a pair of Abercrombie & Fitch jeans. It was the same pair of jeans and same fleece pullover that their friends were wearing and, under different circumstances, Hope would have felt left out because she was the only one not wearing those letters, but now Constance was her girlfriend, she couldn’t help thinking her girlfriend was the cutest girl in the entire sorority and she was proud of her for earning her letters. 

“I’m sorry,” were the first words Constance said when Hope shut the door behind them. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Your first kiss is supposed to be awkward,” Hope reassured her. “It’s just that most of us experience it in junior high or the first half of high school, not at eighteen.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better. I’m a virgin  _ and  _ I don’t know how to kiss a girl.”

Hope playfully pulled her girlfriend close to her. “I can help you with both of those things.”

“Is sex all you think about?” Constance asked. It was a tone of voice Hope had never heard her use before and she wondered if she had made the right decision in asking her to be her girlfriend.

“I was trying to make you feel better,” Hope said as she let go of her.

“...we need to talk.”

She remembered some advice her dad had given her older brother when he first started dating. His words of wisdom were if a woman said, ‘We need to talk,’ it meant you were in trouble.  _ My relationship is ending the day it began. _

“Let’s go to my bed,” Hope said and then immediately caught her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”

Throughout their friendship, there were countless times when the two of them laid in bed together, cuddled up to each other－sometimes with Maura, sometimes just the two of them－but they had always been comfortable with each other until that night. It was their first night as a couple and yet Hope had never felt that much distance between the two of them.

They were seated at the side of Hope’s bed and, as much as Hope wanted to hold her hand, she didn’t want to risk upsetting her even more.

“I miss my best friend,” Constance said after what felt like an eternity of silence. “I’ve always wanted a girlfriend, yet I’ve lost my best friend in the process. My best friend understood me, but I feel as if my girlfriend is someone I don’t even know. We’ve been a couple for thirty minutes and you’ve already changed.”

“This is new to me,” Hope confessed. “Not just being with a girl. This whole feeling is new to me. I was with my ex-boyfriend for almost two years and yet what I felt for him is nothing in comparison to what I feel for you and I’ve only known you for four months. My attraction to you made me realize who I am and made me realize I was never attracted to him. I saw him naked countless times and felt nothing. I saw you in my pajama pants and a spaghetti strap shirt and I couldn’t even think straight. No pun intended. Whenever I had sex with him, it was always so quick and clumsy, but I think I did it just to prove something to myself. I had always assumed guys were just supposed to enjoy it more than girls and it was common for girls not to feel any type of arousal and then that fateful afternoon at Victoria’s Secret happened when there was only one fitting room left so I went in with you and you just  _ had to _ try on that lacy push-up bra with the front clasp. I hope you don’t think it’s inappropriate, but I did something to relieve all of my...tension...later that night because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Constance grabbed her girlfriend’s hand. “I’m wearing that bra right now.” 

“So, why is your sorority sweatshirt still on?” 

“Didn’t we just talk about this?” Constance smiled at her. “Hope, everything you’re wanting, I’m wanting, too. Everything you’re feeling, I’m feeling, too. We were both guilty of pushing our boundaries that afternoon. There were two other fitting rooms available. I just told you there were none so you’d go in there with me. You chose to show me what you were trying on and I chose to act like I was having trouble with that front clasp so you could undo it for me. You know how much I’m attracted to you and I want you to be my first, but that isn’t going to happen right away. Maybe not anytime soon. Saving myself is important to me and I need to know you’re okay with that.”

She wasn’t sure if it’d be a welcomed gesture, but she leaned in and kissed her girlfriend. “I love you and I don’t care how long I have to wait...as long as I get to kiss you.”

“Anytime you want to.”

That single kiss turned into another and then another until a glance at the alarm clock on her nightstand let Hope know that nearly an hour had passed. “Our friends are still downstairs!” Hope said as she got off of her girlfriend and attempted to straighten out her sweater. “How were we making out for an hour? And, I think the most important question is, how did you go from being awkward and shy to kissing like  _ that _ ?”

“You caught me off guard outside and our friends were watching. I couldn’t exactly kiss you the way I wanted to,” Constance responded. She looked at the pink lipstick stains on the collar of her girlfriend’s sweater. “I think you need to change. They’ll never let us hear the end of it if you go out there like that and if your parents see, I’ll never be able to spend the night with you again.”

“My sweater is the least of our problems,” Hope responded. “Connie, go look at your neck.”

Constance sat in front of Hope’s vanity mirror, expecting to find Hope’s lipgloss smeared on her neck. Instead, what she saw were dark marks, some of which she assumed were from Hope’s braces. “What did you do to me?” she asked worriedly as she traced the outline of one of the marks on her neck. “I’m going to see my parents tomorrow and I’m probably going to see  _ your  _ parents the moment I walk out.”

Hope got off her bed and made her way over to the vanity mirror. Her makeup bag was set on top and she rummaged through it looking for some foundation to give to her girlfriend. “You can cover the marks with this. I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

“Please don’t be sorry.” Constance turned around and kissed her girlfriend. “I love you. Once the stinging goes away, they’ll be a reminder of what we did tonight. We’ll be apart for almost a month and I’m going to need every reminder of you that I can get.”

“A month?” Hope asked in disbelief. “How are we going to be apart for a month? In the four months that I’ve known you, the longest we’ve been apart is two days and now that you’re my girlfriend, I don’t think I could even go  _ two hours _ without kissing you.”

“It’ll go quickly, darling. And, someday, we won’t be apart anymore. Someday, we’ll be living together and every time I go to London, I’ll take you and Maura with me.”

Hope watched as her girlfriend rubbed foundation on her neck in an unsuccessful attempt at trying to cover up the marks she had left. “A year ago today I found out I was pregnant and I thought my life was over, but ever since Maura and you came into my life, I feel like everything is just beginning.”

“I’m not going to do what your ex-boyfriend did,” Constance promised her. “You’re not going to go through life feeling alone. We’re going to raise Maura together and be a family. You don’t have to depend on him in any way. I can help you support her. My mother will be thrilled when she finds out we’re a couple. Now that Margaret, Camilla, and I are older, she says we need babies in the family and she adores Maura.”

Hearing her girlfriend’s words filled Hope with comfort. “How did I get the most perfect girlfriend?”

“I’m not perfect,” Constance insisted. “When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s supposed to be this way. You’re supposed to love each other and support each other. I’m not going to leave you, Hope. My plan is to marry you someday and make sure you’re loved every single day of your life. No matter how far away I am, you’ll always be in my heart. I’ll think about you every single moment.”

“I didn’t know there was this side of you,” Hope smiled at her.

“I didn’t know either. Maybe there wasn’t until I met you.”

Hope reached for a stuffed animal on her bed, a teddy bear that was given to her on her fourth birthday. Although she was now eighteen and a mother, she still cuddled him at night whenever she was feeling down. Only Constance knew about him and that revelation was only the result of the two of them in a delirious state after staying up all night studying for a calculus midterm.

“What are you doing with Kensington?” Constance asked. She had now given up on applying foundation and decided to accept whatever fate awaited her when she arrived in London.

“I can’t go to London, but he can,” Hope pointed out. “I’m going to spray my perfume on him and send him with you. That way you can hold him at night and think of me.”

“I still don’t understand how a four-year-old came up with that name for a teddy bear,” Constance said as she watched Hope spray the teddy bear with perfume.

“Maybe my four-year-old self had psychic abilities. I named my bear Kensington and my girlfriend lives in Kensington. Maybe I knew you were out there somewhere.”

Constance held the bear close so she could smell her girlfriend’s perfume. “Kensington, you’re going to Kensington with me.”

“I hope you don’t think this is juvenile.”

“Not at all,” Constance responded. She gently set the teddy bear down, making sure to turn him around so he wouldn’t see what she was about to do. “I have something for you, too.” Before she could think twice and change her mind, she took off her sorority sweatshirt and handed it to Hope. “I know non-members aren’t supposed to wear the letters, but while I’m gone, I want you to wear this whenever you miss me. It’ll be like I’m holding you.”

Hope looked at the sorority sweatshirt she was holding and then at her girlfriend who was wearing nothing more than jeans and the push-up bra she bought that day they went shopping at Victoria’s Secret. “You weren’t lying. You really are wearing the push-up bra, the one with the clasp in the front.”

“Hope Martin, is that all you think about?”

Hope tried unsuccessfully to look her girlfriend in the eyes instead of her chest. “That bra is making it incredibly difficult to focus right now. You could even ask me a science-related question and I wouldn’t know the answer.”

Knowing the effect it would have on her girlfriend, Constance undid the front clasp on her bra and held it up by her fingertips. “Now I’m not wearing it. Are you able to focus?”

Constance expected a witty comeback from her girlfriend, so she was surprised when Hope playfully pulled her onto the bed with her. “Right now I don’t even know my own name. All I can focus on are－”

“The part of my body that you’re eyeing?” Constance teased. “I know I’m not ready for sex, but I neglected to tell you that only means no sex below the waist.”

“Everything above is fair game?”

They were alone for another fifteen minutes before Hope noticed it was Maura’s bedtime. Their friends were watching a movie in the living room and swapping stories about the other girls in their sorority and Hope had assumed her girlfriend would join them until she looked over and saw Constance smiling sweetly at her. “Is it time for our daughter’s bedtime routine.”

* * *

Hope was reading an article on her phone when a notification of an email from her mother-in-law popped up. The fact that it was now morning in London made Hope realize that she had been lying awake in bed for hours. She either experienced fatigue or restless nights since the start of her pregnancy and that night happened to be the latter.

“ _ Jane’s flight is all taken care of. I absolutely cannot wait to see you and the girls and meet my granddaughter’s new girlfriend. I always knew Maura would be with a girl. She never looked right with a boy. I know you haven’t been able to sleep lately so use my daughter’s feminine charms to help you and please tell Constance I’m still alive and she should call me once in awhile.” _

Hope thought about the winter breaks and summer breaks she spent apart from Constance during their undergraduate years－the nights she slept in her sweatshirt just so she could feel as if she were there with her. She knew Maura, at the very least, would have social media and could be in constant communication with Jane, but photos and text messages couldn’t compare to physically being with someone and sharing experiences with them and she hoped her wife would be on the same page.

“Connie,” she said after she kissed her wife’s shoulder. “Honey, wake up.”

“No,” her wife replied with her eyes still closed. “I’m giving a final exam to 150 freshmen tomorrow and I’ve spent the past week answering emails regarding what they could do to raise their grade. A part of me wanted to tell some of them to build a time machine and go back to August when they still had a chance at an A.”

“That was you in Calculus eighteen years ago,” Hope reminded her. “Except you had to show up at office hours instead of sending an email.”

“And Professor Campbell said, ‘Miss Isles, if you had put in half the effort all semester as you have over the past week and stopped ogling Miss Martin, you might have had a chance at something higher than a C.’”

“Sweetheart, a C was him being generous,” Hope snickered. “We both saw your final exam grade. You should have gotten a C- in the class. I just think he didn’t want to see you the following semester.”

Constance wrapped her arm around her wife and pulled her in as close as she could. “Could you tell me the real reason you’re awake at this hour? Are you feeling alright?”

“I was just thinking about our first winter break apart,” Hope said as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her wife’s ear. “Jane and Maura are going to experience that next week.”

“Unlike us, Jane and Maura have Snapchat and Instagram and they’ll probably be sending goodness knows what kind of pictures to each other. Their first winter break apart will be fine.”

“Why don’t we bring Jane with us?”

“Because we don’t want to spoil our children and bringing our daughter’s girlfriend with us would be spoiling her,” Constance reminded her wife. “We promised that we’d make sure our girls never went without anything, but spoiled children turn into insufferable adults.”

“We lost Maura for six years when she decided to go to boarding school,” Hope pointed out. “Jane is the reason we finally have her back. I see her almost every weekend now and you see her almost everyday for lunch. She’s opening up to us now and letting us be a part of her life. I don’t want to lose that. Our girls are so different from each other. Cailin is like you. Cailin isn’t going to get bullied at school. Cailin is going to have friends and sleepovers and her first serious boyfriend will probably be some hippie artist guy that you have hour-long conversations with. Cailin isn’t going to date a Garrett Fairfield. She’s not going to date a guy that lowers her self-esteem. The things that Maura has been through, I’ve been through, and I know what it’s like to meet a girl who makes you feel alive again.”

“Alright, we’re taking Jane with us. Maura has accomplished so much this semester. I don’t see the harm in rewarding her. I’ll call Mrs. Rizzoli in the morning to get Jane’s passport information so we can purchase her ticket.”

Hope remembered her mother-in-law’s advice and grabbed Constance’s hand so she could place it on her breast. “I know how you can help me sleep and studies show that sex during pregnancy benefits both the mother and the baby. The hormones released during－”

“Please stop talking like that,” Constance interrupted. “It’s almost as bad as last week when you said pregnancy causes more blood flow to your vulva. I love what pregnancy has done to your libido, but I don’t love the terminology you use to describe it.”

“Shall I describe it like a romance novel instead?” Hope teased. “She was spread open like a flower in bloom just waiting for her lover to taste her sweet nectar－”

“I’m going back to sleep.”

“No, don’t. Just hold me and we’ll watch horrible reality TV. Being in your arms soothes me.”

“I suppose I can manage that,” Constance said before kissing her wife. 

Hope flipped through channels for what seemed like an eternity before shutting the TV off again. “I don’t think I could stoop to the level of watching these shows. Parents exploiting their children through beauty pageants, an entire family who is famous for creating scandals－”

“Which is why we don’t watch any of this,” Constance reminded her. “Let’s go back to your original plan but, first, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“We’ll talk after,” Hope said in between kissing her wife.

Constance pulled away from her. “No, this is going to bother me. When I said we could arrange for Jane to go with us in the morning, you immediately changed the subject. Why is that? Is it because you’ve already booked her flight?”

“No,” Hope responded nervously.

“Hope, I’ve known you half my life, which means I know when you’re lying.”

“ _ I  _ didn’t book anything…” she hesitated. “Your mother did.”

“What?” Constance asked in disbelief. “She always does that. She always undermines my decisions as a parent and gets our girls every extravagant thing they want. Remember when Maura was fourteen and she got her a car?”

“Honey, it’s so cute that deep down you’re still that little princess who doesn’t understand the concept of money and what things cost.”

“Meaning?”

“You think we could afford an eight million dollar house in Beacon Hill on our salaries,” Hope shook her head. “Your parents paid for it as a gift for your 30th birthday. They still pay the property taxes for us every year. Just be grateful she downgraded Maura’s gift to paying for Jane’s flight as opposed to her original plan of buying our teenage daughter an apartment in Paris because, and I quote, ‘Maura needs a place where she can get away from it all.’ It’s just how grandmothers are with their grandkids. Your mother and my mother undermine every parental decision you and I make and in ten or fifteen years, the two of us and Angela Rizzoli will undermine every decision Jane and Maura make as parents. Oh, and your mother wants you to call her. She also said you should use your feminine charms to help me fall asleep at night.”

“My mother had the audacity to say that?” Constance asked before turning the other way. “And you’ve talked about such things with her? My feminine charms and I are staying fully covered and going back to sleep.”

Sensing her wife was embarrassed, Hope decided to hold her as close as she could. “I told you we should have talked afterward. You’re so much more agreeable when you’re post-orgasm.”

Meanwhile in a dorm room at BCU, Maura was studying for her final exams, completely unaware that the next day she’d find out that she wouldn’t be spending the entire winter break on a different continent from her girlfriend. 

  
  



End file.
